I told you 'TiT' was an acronym!

We are an unregistered company based in a grubby three-wheeled Reliant van, trading primarily on the black market and generally neither pay taxes nor claim money from the state; or as Del says, "The government don't give us nothing, so we don't give the government nothing"

This Platoon focuses primarily on my futile attempts to become a millionaire through questionable get rich quick schemes and by buying and selling a variety of low-quality and illegal goods, such as Russian Army camcorders, luminous yellow paint and sex dolls filled with an explosive gas.

Anybody fancy popping down to the Nag's Head for a swift-half?

To join you must:

- Have a moustache;

- Have a particular liking for Kopparberg;

- Have a sense of humour;

- Have an iota of logic;

- Be well-versed, omniscient if you will;

- Use semi-respectable weaponry (I'll leave the definition of 'semi-respectable' down to you);

- Have staunch anti-pacifistic beliefs - why else are you playing a shoot-em-up?!

- Be ruthless and efficient;

- Be a conspicuous soldier for he will triumph over the surreptitious one - as far as BF3 is concerned anyway;

- Be a good salesman - this one's absolutely imperative!

- Be fluent Cockney Rhyming Slang

- Have excellent situational awareness;

- Have chest hair immaculately trimmed in the shape of France;

- Be compotent! Synonymous with several other points, but vital all the same;

- Like digestive biscuits;

- Not be a vindictive individual. Hatred leads to mistakes; mistakes lead to death;

- But above all else, be friendly and show compassion to your fellow brothers in arms.

/Salute!