Lifeguards are elite clown troops, specialising in various shenanigans from C4 Jeeping, Repair tool drawing as well as relatively serious activities such as raining death from attack helicopters. The most important duty of the Guard is to have fun: given the choice between capturing a flag and having some good old fashioned fun (preferably at someone else’s expense), a true Lifeguard will always choose the latter.

Lifeguards are comprised exclusively of gentlemen: civilised, well-educated and knowledgeable in various academic and vocational fields. Good understanding of history is preferred while deep appreciation and interest in the Napoleonic era is mandatory. Vulgarity is not tolerated and may amount to grounds for expulsion from the Guards. “Chav”-like behaviour will result in summary execution, without leave of appeal.

The decrease in the quality of the youth today means that the Lifeguards are very unlikely to expand. However, the door is always open to true gentlemen who is willing to do anything in the name of honour and humour.

Bad taste in tea is most certainly not tolerated.
Good day.