[ftc] Farticle Gayming
...
Created: 2016-01-08
Rank
12
3,174 / 19,000
Score
167,174
Skill
566
K/D
9.210
Time
49h 28m
We believe in equality. Grav pls.
Live Mas
Live Mas
Public
Last night, I made a risotto with hot calabrese salami and a pinch of ghost peppers and enjoyed it. This morning, I woke up, and felt a slight discomfort, but otherwise, manageable enough for me to just carry on with my day and head to a work site two hours away. I had a lunch, and slight shift in my colon. I ignored it.
That was a mistake.
On my way home, about an hour away, I'm on the highway driving an easy 115 km/h when all hell broke loose. My colon started to release. I looked quickly at the signs on the highway, frantically searching for an exit to a washroom, found nothing.
I pressed harder on the pedal. I'm going 125 km/h now.
A few minutes later, I saw a Service Centre stop -- it's approximately 10 km away. I press harder on the pedal. I'm going 135 km/h now. I can feel the tip of the likely only solid turd just poking through.
My bowels are in agony. "Release!!!!!!!!!!" I'm shifting around in my seat -- it probably looks like I'm twerking in the car.
I'm going 145 km/h now.
I finally reach the stop. I rush out of the car, waddling stiffly like a penguin.
I reach the washroom. I find a clean stall. I pull my pants down and the release is instantaneous. The relief is palpable to everyone else in the washroom with me. Disgust is heard, and men quickly exit the washroom. The sounds of release are wet, yet oddly coordinated each time I loosen the sphincter. The smell is awful, yet so relieving.
I was on that seat for a good 10 minutes.
I've finally emptied the noxious gas chamber of death, and begin to clean up. As I walk out the washroom, I see horrified looking women, men, and children glancing at me and back to a store in front of them.
It was a Taco Bell.
I ruined a business today.
That was a mistake.
On my way home, about an hour away, I'm on the highway driving an easy 115 km/h when all hell broke loose. My colon started to release. I looked quickly at the signs on the highway, frantically searching for an exit to a washroom, found nothing.
I pressed harder on the pedal. I'm going 125 km/h now.
A few minutes later, I saw a Service Centre stop -- it's approximately 10 km away. I press harder on the pedal. I'm going 135 km/h now. I can feel the tip of the likely only solid turd just poking through.
My bowels are in agony. "Release!!!!!!!!!!" I'm shifting around in my seat -- it probably looks like I'm twerking in the car.
I'm going 145 km/h now.
I finally reach the stop. I rush out of the car, waddling stiffly like a penguin.
I reach the washroom. I find a clean stall. I pull my pants down and the release is instantaneous. The relief is palpable to everyone else in the washroom with me. Disgust is heard, and men quickly exit the washroom. The sounds of release are wet, yet oddly coordinated each time I loosen the sphincter. The smell is awful, yet so relieving.
I was on that seat for a good 10 minutes.
I've finally emptied the noxious gas chamber of death, and begin to clean up. As I walk out the washroom, I see horrified looking women, men, and children glancing at me and back to a store in front of them.
It was a Taco Bell.
I ruined a business today.
8 years ago • 0
Like
Looking at the members in this platoon, something stands out as odd..........
8 years ago • 2
likes
VII-chrisP_ESF and
HyenaToofs
like this
WELCOME TO HELL
http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf4/ru/servers/show/pc/a0890960-bdde-42de-8f89-328bb806bbe0/SoF-WELCOME-TO-HELL-Operation-Locker-24-7-NO-RULES-2400/ [battlelog.battlefield.com]
http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf4/ru/servers/show/pc/a0890960-bdde-42de-8f89-328bb806bbe0/SoF-WELCOME-TO-HELL-Operation-Locker-24-7-NO-RULES-2400/ [battlelog.battlefield.com]
8 years ago • 0
Like
MapleLeafWarrior
like this